Okay. Fine. Whatever. I am aware Justin Bieber has a Christmas song.
After MULTIPLE comments from people who are just HILARIOUS, I am putting up the Bieb’s holiday offering, “Mistletoe.” An original song released in 2011, it fits my rules, so FINE, here, have it.
Fair warning: As a 2011 song, this is pre-(allegedly)-decent Justin Bieber. It’s the song that answers the question “Hey, what if that one Jason Mraz song was about Christmas?” It essentially has one lyric: “Kiss me underneath the mistletoe,” although I think a caught a “shawty” in there as well. It is well-scrubbed, unoffensive, and fleeting, and that’s as much as you’re getting out of me.
Here it is.
PUT IT TO THE TEST!
- Does it mention Christmas by name? Yes, once. These lyrics are like a checklist: “Reindeer,” “Santa,” “Wise Men,” and even “Chestnuts” also receive a mention. Justin Bieber loves chestnuts.
- Are there bells in it? Yes, fairly incessantly.
- Is it jolly? I think I’m being objective when I say no. I’ll grant it’s catchy, but I don’t think it’s any more merry than a typical Bieber tune.
Just to be fair, I actually kinda DO like Bieber’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” which autoplayed after this on YouTube, but it might just be because it’s got a breakdancing Santa and Bieber’s in full Dickensian Steampunk garb.