Baby swag II

This weekend was the second episode of Weekend Baby Giveaway (baby not included). I was not invited, owing to having external genitalia, but I do get to unpack the gifts. Also my great-aunt Sophie asked me if I had gained weight because she is a charming woman.¬†Considering what Jess gets to unpack in about a month, though, I’m okay with this arrangement.

My mom and sister were nice enough to put together this baby shower, deputizing the Corry Area High School cafeteria for it. That’s just how we roll in the Frozen North. The result was another round of Thoughtful Gifts I Didn’t Know I Needed. Have a look:

Books! You see that one with the zebra? It shows life-sized portions of animals. What a terrific concept. True, my kid won’t be able to recognize an elephant unless only a 12 x 18″ section of it is visible, but s/he’ll know that part REALLY WELL.

Monitors! I’ve wanted one of these forever, well before getting anyone pregnant. I am going to surveillance the crap out of this baby. In fact, this gives me some ideas about redesigning the nursery.

Handmade stuff! This is a carrier sling from my sister and a crocheted ball from Trisha. Because they are awesome. You know what I know how to make by hand? Beer. And knots. This is why I don’t get invited to showers.

(A) Soother! This thing plays sounds of the Great Barrier Reef in order to lull infants to sleep. It is filled with fish that presumably do fishy things. It may be too cool for the baby to appreciate.

Support … er, paraphernalia! I had no idea there was an entire industry devoted to holding up parts of your baby. How wrong I was.

Even more bags of clothes, towels, blankets and burp cloths! They are even now winging their way toward the washing machine.

And now … the Thank You cards. This baby owes me.

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